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My Breasts are trying to kill me

Joey Smith • November 19, 2021

Dearest reader, today’s little out pouring of ocular delight, isn’t going to be the usual jovial read. Though I hope you’ll come away with a warmed heart and dampened eyes.

 

I (your loving writer) recently had a client come to see me, who shall remain for the purposes of this discussion anonymous, but this client came into the salon in search of help.

 

Now, when someone comes into the salon requesting aid, its usually because they’ve decided on a whim, to go from jet black to platinum blonde in one sitting and their hair now has the consistency of something that would be better suited served with meatballs (or meat-free balls for that matter). Or alternatively they’ve thought the immortal thought “how hard can it be” and now have a fringe like Dave Hill (he was in Slade, look him up).

 

On this occasion it was something very different. Client in question had come in because her hair had been transformed by cancer treatment.

 

I know we’re ebbing closer to the most wonderful time of the year and the nights are drawing in, so the last thing you want to read about in your break is a blog talking about cancer, but taboos are there because we don’t want to talk about them and because we don’t make light of them, so stick with me.

 

The brutal aggression of cancer treatment can do all sorts to the body. Besides causing people to lose their luscious locks, it can also return completely different. This being the case with the lovely client in discussion. Who pre-treatment possessed long blonde, fine hair, then post treatment returned the polar opposite.

 

Being diagnosed with the illness and going through the gruelling ordeal of the intense treatment and then to glance in the mirror in recovery and not recognise the vision staring back, must be a trauma in itself.

Now, before we go any further, I’m never going to claim that hairstylists, dressers, barbers or even hackers have the healing powers of our wonderful NHS staff. Or, that we have the same abilities as the nuns of Lourdes, but we all know how our hair makes our mood rise and fall depending on how it looks.

You, yourself have driven up this cul-de-sac of waffle because you’ve wondered onto our site, searching for better hair.

 

CIQ (Client in Question) had gone from one extreme to the next. Their fair and whispy strands had been metamorphosized into dark, thick, corkscrew curls.

 

After a tearful consultation, with barely a glance towards the mirror. We had a plan. It was a case of less if more, baby steps and other clichés that would be found before a movie montage.

 

The day arrived, we’d done our homework, we’d had thoughts and the iPad was fired up with blogs, pictures, ideas and curls, curls, curls

 

After a strong coffee with a large indulgence of an Irish whiskey and cream liqueur, ( for legal reasons I can’t say the name of said drink but the comedian Bill Bailey would approve) and so we began.

 

I assured the CIQ that time was on our side and with baby snips we delved into their rejuvenation.

There was more anguish in the room than Tory press conference but slowly, they began to peak into the mirror. There was laughs, tension, nerves, tears, fears, shakes and cold beads of sweat….. I have no idea how they felt, but I was going through all of them.

 

As the hairdryer’s whining died down, bringing the fans tireless revolutions to an end, the last cut curls, falling to the floor we had reached our destination. 

 

I’m certainly not going to say that CIQ jumped up with delight and professed her everlasting love for me. In fact, there was a few tears and a reassuring remark for me of “ I don’t hate it”. We’d already taken a picture of a frumpy older looking woman before we’d even washed and with the feeling they weren’t utterly mortified we marched on and once again pointed the lens. This time on the other hand, the viewfinder was pointed at a beautiful young woman with a glimmer of hope in her eye.

 

On leaving there was hugs and optimism and that’s truly the point to this ramble. Sometimes people come to the salon for time away from their woes. Sometimes people come for a natter or to have peace. To get away from their partner or to confide in an open ear. Some people on the other hand, they. need more than that. They need their confidence restoring. The feeling of being beautiful again or more importantly, the feeling that they are them again. Even if the reflection is slightly different.

 

I was genuinely moved by this experience and feel like we now have a real bond. With that in mind I’ll leave you with the immortal words of the Monty Python boys..

 

All together now,

 

He’s Not the messiah, he’s a very naughty boy… wait, that’s not the right one..

Back To The Future, At The Back

By Joey Smith • November 3, 2021
I've got love for you if you were born in the 80's

A heavenly view

By Joey Smith • November 2, 2021
So this morning, whilst the cobwebs were waiting to be blown away and I lie in anticipation for the five strong espressos, filled with their delicious Caffeine molecules, to slowly find their way to my synapsis’, I suddenly found myself gazing out of our window. I shuddered into amazement at this most beautiful view. Before my eyes was the sight of one of the oldest buildings in Salford bathed in an autumnal morning sky of pinks, oranges and blues. It was at this moment reader that I realized just how underestimated our salons surroundings are. Now prepare yourselves as I'm about to paint you a modern Lowery, with a hint of John Cooper Clarke. Eccles, our Birthplace has always been seen as the middle child, the house wine or the uncle who no one talks to at weddings, of Manchester. In fact, it’s always been seen as a no man's between Manchester and Salford. Now, lines were drawn years ago and I’m not even going to attempt to tread into the quagmire of the Manchester/Salford debacle, lets just leave that there for today, but because of this oversight it really has some hidden gems waiting to be pointed out (now I know what you’re thinking “Adam James Hairdressing isn’t a hidden gem it’s the jewel in the crown” well you are too kind but no not us). The biggest one stares us in the face every day! Next time you come to have your hair lovingly transformed, cast your eyes out of our windows and before you, you will be graced with the Church of St Mary the Virgin. Don’t worry reader, this isn’t going to turn into a diatribe about finding a higher power, merely an appreciation of the rich tapestry of our beloved Eccles. The Church itself is as entrenched in the local history as Eccles cakes, in fact the first Eccles cake shop was, opened in 1796 opposite the church. The name Eccles comes from Ecclesiastic (big word for a hairdresser I know, I had to google how to spell it) which comes from the Latin meaning “of the church” (how posh does it sound now!). This 13th Centaury Church has begun to opening for lunch on Saturdays and almost as if divine intervention, I was graced with spare five minutes to have a nose. The Inside is more magnificent than out. Through the huge wooden door you are greeted by overwhelming Gothic architecture, stained windows and an enormous organ. Please refrain for carry on style innuendos . After picking my jaw off the floor I began my inspection of the windows themselves. The first to catch my eye was a window called “Entry to Jerusalem” though it’s been, in true Mancunian fashion nicknamed “the long donkey window” (to be only said in the accent of course). This eye watering piece of craftsmanship was created in the 16th centaury and was gifted to the church in the 20’s. At the back of the pulpit stands three huge stained windows which as your eyes scan, you notice are in what appears to be disarray. In truth, this collection of windows was blasted out during the blitz as a Luftwaffe's bomb landed behind the church leaving the window in tatters. The Priest in charge of the rebuilding of the church decided to leave the window as it was with the missing stained glass as a monument to tragedy of war. If you’re not fortunate enough to be here on a Saturday and let's be honest appointments on Saturday’s leading up to the silly season are going quicker than hot (Eccles) cakes, then you might be in for an evening treat as the local campanologist's ( I said no carry on innuendos), peel the bells with a cacophony of sound. There’s a million other things I could ramble on about, that I'm sure would both delight and bore you but safe to say the Church is truly one of the many what makes this tiny little town such a hidden gem. So the next time you come see us, after you've been pampered with a head massage and you’re nibbling on a Boarders biscuit, dipped into a frothy cappuccino be sure to cast your eyes out through our windows and take it all in and feel proud and elated to be in Eccles. So this morning, whilst the cobwebs were waiting to be blown away and I lie in anticipation for the five strong espressos, filled with their delicious Caffeine molecules, to slowly find their way to my synapsis’, I suddenly found myself gazing out of our window. I shuddered into amazement at this most beautiful view. Before my eyes was the sight of one of the oldest buildings in Salford bathed in an autumnal morning sky of pinks, oranges and blues. It was at this moment reader that I realized just how underestimated our salons surroundings are. Now prepare yourselves as I'm about to paint you a modern Lowery, with a hint of John Cooper Clarke. Eccles, our Birthplace has always been seen as the middle child, the house wine or the uncle who no one talks to at weddings, of Manchester. In fact, it’s always been seen as a no man's between Manchester and Salford. Now, lines were drawn years ago and I’m not even going to attempt to tread into the quagmire of the Manchester/Salford debacle, lets just leave that there for today, but because of this oversight it really has some hidden gems waiting to be pointed out (now I know what you’re thinking “Adam James Hairdressing isn’t a hidden gem it’s the jewel in the crown” well you are too kind but no not us). The biggest one stares us in the face every day! Next time you come to have your hair lovingly transformed, cast your eyes out of our windows and before you, you will be graced with the Church of St Mary the Virgin. Don’t worry reader, this isn’t going to turn into a diatribe about finding a higher power, merely an appreciation of the rich tapestry of our beloved Eccles. The Church itself is as entrenched in the local history as Eccles cakes, in fact the first Eccles cake shop was, opened in 1796 opposite the church. The name Eccles comes from Ecclesiastic (big word for a hairdresser I know, I had to google how to spell it) which comes from the Latin meaning “of the church” (how posh does it sound now!). This 13th Centaury Church has begun to opening for lunch on Saturdays and almost as if divine intervention, I was graced with spare five minutes to have a nose. The Inside is more magnificent than out. Through the huge wooden door you are greeted by overwhelming Gothic architecture, stained windows and an enormous organ. Please refrain for carry on style innuendos . After picking my jaw off the floor I began my inspection of the windows themselves. The first to catch my eye was a window called “Entry to Jerusalem” though it’s been, in true Mancunian fashion nicknamed “the long donkey window” (to be only said in the accent of course). This eye watering piece of craftsmanship was created in the 16th centaury and was gifted to the church in the 20’s. At the back of the pulpit stands three huge stained windows which as your eyes scan, you notice are in what appears to be disarray. In truth, this collection of windows was blasted out during the blitz as a Luftwaffe's bomb landed behind the church leaving the window in tatters. The Priest in charge of the rebuilding of the church decided to leave the window as it was with the missing stained glass as a monument to tragedy of war. If you’re not fortunate enough to be here on a Saturday and let's be honest appointments on Saturday’s leading up to the silly season are going quicker than hot (Eccles) cakes, then you might be in for an evening treat as the local campanologist's ( I said no carry on innuendos), peel the bells with a cacophony of sound. There’s a million other things I could ramble on about, that I'm sure would both delight and bore you but safe to say the Church is truly one of the many what makes this tiny little town such a hidden gem. So the next time you come see us, after you've been pampered with a head massage and you’re nibbling on a Boarders biscuit, dipped into a frothy cappuccino be sure to cast your eyes out through our windows and take it all in and feel proud and elated to be in Eccles.

Pumpkin spice with everything please

By Joey Smith • October 21, 2021
So it's official, the shops are filled with Halloween tat, you've caved and put the heating back on, its dark before you leave work, you've dusted off your favourite warm coat and every coffee you've bought for the past three weeks has had a shot of cinnamon or pumpkin spice in it. It can only mean one thing, its Autumn. Now before we start screaming how many weeks it is before that big day or your social media feed clogs with irate rants from your mother-in-laws, sisters, friend, who's budgie hates fireworks, lets all take a deep breath of cool fresh air, pull out the thermals and enjoy the wonderous splendour of this time of the year. I know it happens every year but this change of season always feels special. Yes, basking in glorious sunshine in a beer garden is all well and good, but does it really beat being wrapped up walking through natures easel of oranges, reds, coppers and browns? Ok, so maybe I'm looking at it through burnt orange tinted lenses, but I cant wait for my first trip to a country pub, to sit by a roaring fire, with a humongous long scarf, knitted by my gran adorned around my neck, considering which hearty roast to eat. With Autumns colours, comes autumnal hair. Heaven forbid you make the ultimate faux pas by have beachy waves at the works Halloween party! luckily reader before you fall into the despair of making this unforgivable mistake and being, quite rightly ostracized from your work colleagues, we having lovingly collected a smorgasbord of wonderfully rich, warm colours and tones of mochas, coppers and reds to transform you from looking less Glastonbury hippie hang over, to ethereal fierce and fiery Goddess!
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